I’m trying to remember the last thing I cooked. I think it had something to do with scrambled eggs, and I’m fairly certain it was about a week ago. Our entire house (both of us!) caught some sort of sickness I brought home from the chitlins at the office; we’ve been so busy washing down our Mucinex with Alka-Seltzer that we don’t have time to cook.
But! Today is a new day. I washed down my Mucinex with a very large cup of coffee because if I have to choke down one more stupid Alka-Seltzer I’m going to bite someone. Also the pill keeps getting caught on my tongue so by the time I swallow it it’s all gritty and bitter and WHY can’t I just feel BETTER already?
The inability to swallow pills thing is something that developed fairly recently. I have no clue as to what its origin is, nor do I know exactly when it started, but the second the pill hits my tongue I get all flustered, worried that if I take a sip of water and my tongue isn’t all the way down in the back the pill will get suctioned to the roof of my mouth and slowly start to disintegrate before I can swallow another sip of water and when I finally do the pill will get lodged in the back of my throat and I’ll start to choke, inevitably falling and smacking my head against the kitchen floor and the paramedics will come and have to cut off my clothes and I haven’t shaved my legs in a very long time.
That kind of thought process is what makes my husband shake his head in amazement sometimes; he thinks I’m random and say crazy things for no discernable rhyme or reason. So, for instance, if he asks me if I’ve taken my medicine and I say no and he asks me why and I say “Because I haven’t shaved my legs yet,” it SOUNDS crazy and illogical but really, it’s not.
Consider yourself enlightened.
Filed under: food
So you know how we were going to try a different vegetable every week? That didn’t happen. We never made it to the grocery store. We are gas and money concious! Also: lazy.
We tried brown rice instead. I know that brown rice isn’t all that different from white rice–it’s like comparing carrotts and baby carrotts–but there is something about brown rice that grossed me out. Maybe it was all of those whole grains just hanging out, waiting to make me healthy. I never really ate it as a kid so I’m not accustomed to it, and we (Jason and I) have attempted it just one time as Husband And Wife and it was a mushy, tasteless disaster.
The night before we had brown rice, I had roasted an entire 6 pound chicken. I do not know why I felt the desire to cook that much when we wouldn’t be able to eat it all, but I felt like I needed to. I needed to conquer roasting a bird because one day I would be called upon to cook a Thanksgiving dinner and what if it was a clusterfuck of terribleness because I didn’t practice on the six pound chicken when I had the chance? You see my urgency. Future Thanksgiving turkeys were at steak. Not that anyone really gives a crap about the turkey anyway. Mashed potatoes are way more delicious.
So I cooked the bird and there were, like, five pounds of chicken left over. I knew there would be and I totally planned accordingly. We bought brown rice because I was going to make chicken and rice with the leftover chicken. Brilliance!
I called my mother and asked her for a recipe for chicken and rice. She looked in the Joy of Cooking, where there was nothing listed about chicken and rice, probably because the name is pretty self explanitory about ingredients and only a moron would need to look up the recipe.
So I winged it.
I put in in our rice cooker:
1) Some coffee cup-fuls of brown rice
2) Chicken bullion cubes (2)
3) Some water
It was delicious, of course. Very flavorful and nothing at all like the tasteless mush we’d eaten back when I cooked it before (from a bag. In the microwave. Don’t judge me). And now we have 8 zillion cups of brown rice left over, so we’ll be eating chicken and rice for the rest of our lives.
Filed under: Uncategorized
A coworker found my blog.
Time to delete all of the references to puppy kicking and intravenous drug use.
P.S. Hi Liz!
In an effort to eat more vegetables (usually we eat broccoli and asparagus and that’s pretty much it), I’ve started a little game involving vegetables we’ve never eaten. It’s called “We’ve Never Eaten That, Let’s Try Something New And If We Don’t Like It We’ll Never Eat It Again.”
This week we tried leeks.
I got the idea when I was at work a week ago looking through some blogs. I don’t remember whose blog it was (maybe the Food Network site?) but I saw a picture of them and thought they looked innocuous enough. Leeks look like giant scallions. Pretty non-threatening. Not like, say, a turnip. Turnips look scary.
So we went to the store to get the leeks, as well as some other groceries. The whole way to Fred Meyer I am convincing Jason that trying leeks will be great and I totally know how to cook them (lie) and it will be a fantastic food adventure, and I am getting kind of sick of eating broccoli all the time so please let’s just try leeks in case we like them.
We walked around the vegetable section, unsure of where the leeks may be. I tried near the onions because that made the most sense to me, but there were a zillion onions with not a leek in sight. After whole minutes of walking around the vegetable section, we found them.
In the organic section.
I don’t want to knock organic food because pesticides will make you blind and homeless and have been shown to regrow virginity, but I was not about to spend $6 for three stalks of mutant scallion that I wasn’t even sure I would like. When Jason asked the vegetable section worker guy if organic leeks were all they had in stock, the man said yes.
Had I not been so commited to eat the stupid leeks I would have put back the organic leeks. I would have stuck them under the green beans and never looked back. But my mind was made up: we were going to try leeks.
Then we found non-organic leeks and bought them instead. So everyone wins.
I cut the leeks in half lengthwise and stuck them on the grill for a few minutes, then sprinkled them with balsamic vinegar, oil, salt, and pepper, wrapped them in foil, and put them back on the grill for ten minutes.
They were good. Leeks taste a little more mild than an onion, and I was a little thrown by eating the bottom part of the vegetable. Next time I will not grill them first and leave off the balsamic vinegar.
Do you like vegetable? What is your favorite way to prepare your favorite vegetable? We’re looking for new ideas. Things we will not eat: brussels sprouts, lima beans, radishes, beets.
Filed under: twitter
Guys, I love Twitter. I love it more than blogging. I love the interaction and the hilarity of the people I follow. I love (most of) the people with whom I’ve met and reconnected. It’s not stressful or hard to maintain.
For some people it is.
I cannot figure out why.
When To Unfollow Someone:
1) If they create drama
2) If you do not find their tweets relevent or interesting
3) If you are bored of them
Will the world end? No. It won’t. Chances are high they won’t even notice, and if they do and actually confront you about it, you can explain yourself.
But really.
It’s just Twitter. Who cares.
If someone is being just slightly annoying, there’s a handy “mute” option that will simply not display their tweets in your feed until you unmute them. Also helpful if the person you do not like is someone that would be greatly offended if you unfollowed them.
Like your own husband.
(Just kidding.)
I fully believe that every social networking space should be drama free. I have never had an issue unfollowing anyone I wasn’t interested in, and if you need an extra push in unfollowing someone that annoys you, just let me know. I will be your coach. I will DM you helpful words of encouragement that may or may not involve some swearing.
Twittering should be fun. If there is a reason it’s not fun for you, think about what that might be. If it’s because there’s too much drama, remove those that create the drama. Simple as that.
Filed under: life lessons
It’s fairly simple.
Be nice.
To everyone.
All the time.
Do not make fun of people you deem “unworthy” or “unpopular.” They are not your enemy. They are not less. Different does not equal wrong. There is room in this world for every opinion, every clothing style, every train of thought, every economic class, every religion.
Be nice. Be decent to each other. This does not mean you have to like everyone or even act like you like everyone. I’m not asking you to lie. A little human decency goes a long way.
Hold open the door. Do not pick on the new kid. Stand up for what is right even though you may stand alone. Don’t lie to your friends or your parents. Don’t take things that don’t belong to you. Don’t cut others off in traffic and don’t get mad when others cut you off. Do your best to not let your anger get the best of you.
The world would be better if everyone were just 1% nicer to each other, but we can do more than that. We can do more than 1%.
The issue, as I see it, is that there’s nothing to gain by being nice. Being nice requires a certain vulnerability: there is a chance your niceness could get tossed right back in your face. The giver of the niceness receives no reward for the niceness. Therefore, it’s easier to get angry when someone cuts us of instead of refusing to fall victim to our knee-jerk reaction (which is yelling and hand gestures and reduces us to animals instead of human beings). It’s easier to watch someone get picked on (and maybe even join in on the ridicule) than it is to jump to their defense.
It’s easier. And I understand that. But it’s not better.
I’ve thought about this for a few days now, unsure of how I should begin to approach the subject. Writing out exactly what happened would make me a hypocrite, sharing information that’s not mine to begin with, but in order to gain some perspective it’s important to know where I’m coming from.
So.
In order to be as vague as possible and still keep some semblance of legitimacy, I’ll tell you the watered down version.
One of my classmate’s dad’s recently shot his wife in the head and then killed himself.
I checked Facebook after I found out to see if anyone had mentioned anything. Because I’m a child of the technological age and that’s where I go for my news, apparently. Which is sad in and of itself. I’ll get to that in a second.
I read a status update:
“God Bless ********** and ******** and their family.”
The name of the man, the name of the wife. First and last.
I was appalled.
Then I checked the classmate’s page. Perhaps he posted something about it.
Nothing.
Except… other people had. The messages were along the lines of “I’m so sorry for you, stay strong, let me know if you need anything.”
I was livid, not only at the lack of tact my classmate’s had exuded, but because the classmate himself hadn’t posted anything about the subject.
Which brings me here. Because I need to sort things out, you see.
How far is too far when it comes to wall posts regarding a sad event?
My own practice of consolation via Facebook is simple: do not do it. Unless someone updates something kind of sad but perfectly innocent, like “My cat died,” I don’t say anything.
Unless.
If the “victim” (for complete lack of a better word) posts something about it, the topic is open for discussion. Ask questions and express sympathies until your heart’s content. If the one to which the news pertains hasn’t posted something regarding the event, it’s off limits. If I really felt a burning desire to let someone know that I was thinking about them, I would send them a message. Just because it’s in the newspaper does not give anyone license to offer condolences or empathy on a public forum. It’s distasteful and insensitive to bring up a subject that hasn’t found it’s way to Facebook yet. There’s probably a reason for that: no one wants to be the first one to say anything. And with good reason. It’s stupid.
Or maybe it just seems that way to me. I can’t imagine providing consolation on a public arena like Facebook, mostly because I perceive it as being shallow and too public for such a thing.
It also has the potential to spread rumors.
Someone writes on this kid’s page “Thinking about you, buddy. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers.” A mutual friend, who has no idea what’s going on, sees it in her news feed. She asks the wall-writer about the situation. The wall-writer tells her. She tells someone else, mixing up the facts a little bit. So it goes, until what really happened bears no resemblence to the story that’s unfolded because someone just HAD to be a jackass and write about a private event on a public forum. I’ll say it again: Just because it’s in the newspaper does not give anyone license to offer condolences or empathy on a public forum. Send a message. That’s what it’s there for.
